History of a Friendship
by lizardcookie
Summary: "Let's not fight" had become their motto. Over seven years, the friendship between Severus Snape and Lily Evans crumbled beneath its facade, leaving him bitter and she happy.


"They drive me _insane_," Lily seethed, clutching a strand of her hair. The ends were burnt and slightly smoking. She was close to tears because of _stupid _Potter and Black. "My hair is ruined," she whined.

"No, it's not," Sev told her. "You could go to Madame Pomfrey. She may have something."

"I'm not going run for help," Lily crossed her arms, sticking her nose in the air. Mum had always taught to her to be the bigger person whenever she and Tuney fought. "I refuse to let them win. I'll just have to wear my hair with pride."

"They're right prats," came Severus' reply. The sun was bright, forcing much of the student population to retreat to the shade on the grounds or inside the castle itself. Lily and Severus sat side by side, watching in amusement as the giant squid popped out of the water to warm itself in the sun. First Year was wrapping up, so Lily had decided it would be nice to finish their homework outside. It took persuading and a lot of "C'mon, Sev, please?" in her sweetest voice to get him to go with her, but little Lily Evans was not one to give up.

Only, of course, Lily had run into the Marauders on her way out. Ran into those boys and, more tragically, their mini bomb.

"I don't understand what sadistic, immature pleasure they get out of hurting people," Lily continued. Next to her, Sev gave his thin smile. Bashing Potter and his cronies was one of his favorite pass times with Lily. "And," she turned to face Severus, "they always bully you."

He quickly scowled. "Potter's just jealous."

"Jealous?" Lily questioned, a bit taken aback. Severus regretted what he had said as she continued to prod, "Jealous of what?"

"Just b-because you're my best friend," Sev sputtered, feeling his cheeks fluster. Why did he have to let her know Potter was jealous? Maybe she would have never figured it out. Lily never thought rationally when it came to Potter.

"Well that's idiotic," she huffed, "and not how you make friends. If they just stopped bullying others and put their brains to good use, I'm sure we could be friends."

Severus stared. "What?"

"Why not?" The look of horror on his face startled her. "We're in the same house and year. Sometimes they're funny when they aren't mean." But her innocent explanation was met with his scowl. "Calm down, Sev," she nudged him with her shoulder. "You're still my best mate. I don't see anything changing."

He looked back up at her, thin lips turned up. "Yeah," he muttered, "best mates."

Over the grounds, the shadows grew longer and longer as more students retreated inside for dinner. Lily sighed.

"I don't want to go home," she confessed. "I love it here. Plus... I'm worried about Tuney." Her eyes were big, distressed, as she faced Sev. "She hates me, I just know it."

But Severus simply shrugged. "She's not special like you are. She's just a Muggle. Why does it matter if she likes you?"

"She's not 'just a Muggle,' Severus, she's my sister," Lily spat. Her cheeks were red in anger. "You know how close we were."

"But now you have new friends, you still have me-"

"Ugh," Lily rubbed her forehead in frustration, "you don't understand. Tuney will always be my sister and she hates me and I wanted to talk to you about it and you don't care." She turned her back to him, crossing her arms. Severus continued to state at her, confused as to why she had gotten so upset. What he said was true. Petunia Evans was nothing, so why should Lily Evans fret over her?

"Let's not fight," he finally said after a few moments. This wasn't an apology, because he knew wasn't wrong. Just sweeping it under the rug.

She eyed him for a moment before grinning. "Okay," Lily told him, then reached for her bag. "Maybe we should work on Transfiguration?"

Sev nodded, content. Lily was still his. He's found her in that Muggle slump they came from, and he'd kept her here in Hogwarts, where he found home.

He'd tell her later what he really felt.

"You're late," he scolded from the corner. The wind had swept Lily's hair all about, red curls disheveled. She had gotten prettier, much prettier as the end of Third Year approached. She was still laughing as she walked up to the main entrance, eyes bright. His sour mood made her blink, and Severus could see some of her previous lightheartedness fade away. He didn't regret his mood. He and Lily were supposed to meet five minutes ago to get Slughorn's extra summer assignment together and he'd been waiting for her to come in from the grounds for almost ten minutes now.

"Mary and I got caught up," Lily apologized, "We were walking back, but then Hagrid called, and well he had a unicorn fawn and it-"

"Let's just get going," Severus interrupted, leading the way for her to follow through the main gate. Lily caught up with him.

"What's up with you, Sev?" She asked, not unkindly. "Is something wrong?" When he continued to sulk silently, Lily grabbed his arm and tugged slightly. His shoulders relaxed. "Let's not fight," she instructed. "Talk to me."

"We just never see each other anymore," Severus muttered, not meeting her eyes. "You're always busy with McDonald or anyone else. We didn't even hang out for the last Hogsmeade trip of the year a few weeks ago."

"Well, yeah," Lily ceded, looking a bit coy, "but I was with Anthony Port. That was a date."

If possible, Severus turned even paler than before. Why didn't she tell him she had a- a date? What else was Lily keeping from him? "Okay," he managed to get out, "but even still, we never see each other."

They were walking again, passing the great hall where late lunch goers were still gathered. The train home left tomorrow with the promise of an eventful End-of-Term Feast that evening. No one quite knew which House had managed to take the Cup after Gryffindor rose from their underdog position against Hufflepuff in the Quidditch finals ("It was my goal, you know, that won the match," Potter bragged constantly. It took Lily threatening to Transfigure his head into a broken record to shut him up about it, though she still heard his stories), and Prefects from all Houses were going crazy, looking for every tiny thing to dock points from rival students ("A debauchery," Lily had heard Head Boy Frank Longbottom mutter after witnessing a Ravenclaw Prefect try to convince McGonnagall that it was licit to dock points from a student for walking too slowly in the corridors).

"We always have the summer," Lily comforted him. "I'm stuck home all break. We aren't taking a vacation anywhere. Dad gets tired too easily nowadays."

But Severus didn't feel too badly about Mr. Evans' cancer. Lily's father had never quite warmed up to the sickly looking boy who suddenly found his daughter. He was a Muggle, just like Severus' father. Muggle fathers were never good.

"We'll see each other loads, I'm sure," Lily continued, then sighed. "I wish I had an owl _and _a cat. Then I could write to everyone I want to on a whim, wouldn't that be rad?"

The dungeons weren't much farther, just a few more flights and corridors. Sev was curious, though mostly due to jealousy. Wasn't he enough for her? "Who do you need to write to?"

"There's Mary," Lily started, brow knit in concentration, "and Laura Tylls and oh," but the pink tint to her cheeks must be a trick of the light, because in no feasible world could Lily blush at what she said next, for blushing equated to emotions other than loathing or annoyance. "Potter asked for my address so he could owl me," and that was not, _could not _be a small grin tugging at her lips, "but I told him to sod off. Prat was just trying to impress his mates."

Squinting, analyzing her, Severus decided that he had imagined those things. Lily hated James Potter as much as he did. After all, Potter and Black the other two pricks were buffoons, nothing that Lily wanted or valued. They were brutes, picking fights and using unsophisticated, uncultured hexes and jinxes.

The hexes Severus used to attack them were well thought out, artful. He'd gotten more bold as time with the Marauders passed. Now, he had a slight advantage whenever he picked fights with them— though of course he'd never tell that to Lily. She wouldn't understand. Just like she'd never understand his interest in magic farther from the norm. She didn't see the beauty, the potential and power, in Dark Magic. He needed to change the subject and steer away from anything about Potter and the other three.

"I hope this assignment is better than last summer's," Severus mused. "A squib could have written that essay."

"Don't be cruel," Lily corrected him lightly on his slight, "but I hope so as well. I mean, Slughorn thought three feet on the Babbling Beverage was difficult?"

"Too easy," Severus nodded, happy again. They were talking Potions again, one of the key things keeping them together still. He didn't allow himself to think about how distant she was becoming, and he couldn't blame that on the fact that they didn't see each other as often as they used to. She was guarded, quicker to criticize him about the spells he mapped in his Potions book and the Slytherins she'd see him with. He didn't allow himself to consider the fact that Lily wouldn't approve of his interest in the budding war, because he couldn't consider the possibility that he'd lose her friendship, her love.

When the time came, Lily would understand that it wasn't her fault she was Muggleborn. She'd understand his interest in the war and understand why he needed to join He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

She had to. There was no other option.

The prefect badge gleamed proudly on Lily's robe, reflecting a blurry image of the library around them. Books piled the table they shared, ranging on a variety of subjects. Both Lily and Severus wrote in silence, occasionally flipping open a reference book for fact checking. Her hair was longer, more vibrant than ever, and she was slightly taller and prettier than ever before. He looked the same as ever, sallow and pale next to Lily. Severus put his quill down, looking bitter.

"So you're leaving me to go hang out with Potter and his cronies."

"We're having an Exploding Snap tourney in the Common Room, and I promised everyone I'd be there. You know I'm last year's champ." Lily was obviously suppressing her frustration at Severus' distaste over her plans. Bewteen O.W.L.'s stress and anxiety, Lily wanted nothing more than the evening off from studying to have a few Butterbeers in the Common Room. Of course, that was too much to ask for.

"I don't like it when you hang out with them," Sev muttered. She didn't take her eyes from her paper, even when she could feel is gaze (accusatory? reprimanding?) on her.

"They're in my year, Sev," she whispered back calmly.

"They're still pricks. You know what I think about-"

"_Don't_," she hissed, now turning to glare at him. "Don't even, Severus. What you're suggesting is crazy, and completely in your head." Even if Lily may see more truth than not in Severus' theory, she wouldn't give him the satisfaction that would come from permanently harming Remus Lupin's future.

"Lily," he pressed on, "what about everything they do to me?"

"And everything _you _do to _them?_"

Severus blinked, not replying, as Lily finished her paragraph. She looked up from her parchment.

"I'm not stupid, Sev. These idiotic spats you and Potter or Black get into are because you can't put aside silly House differences or some sort of testosterone driven sense of entitlement to do whatever the hell you want with people." Severus' face turned an ugly shade of red.

"It is not that. You wouldn't understand because you're-" But Lily's eyes flashed dangerously, and Snape's voice trailed off.

"Because I'm _what_, Severus? Too stupid to understand, because I'm Muggleborn?" There was an eerie calm to Lily, the rage coursing through her only noticeable in her usually warm eyes. Severus seemed to shrink in his seat, cowering from her anger and disapproval.

"I didn't mean it like that-" He sputtered, "Some things are complicated and-"

Lily crossed her arms, raising her eyebrows. "You honestly think I don't know that you called Mary that awful word, or that you've been hanging around with Mulciber past curfew?"

"I'm a prefect, too, Lily," he said, rolling his eyes, "I can be out past curfew. And McDonald never liked me, she's lying."

"Oh, is she?" Lily's voice was venomous. "So I suppose that Marcus Overby was lying when he told me that he saw you with Avery and Knott toying with some First Years?"

"Why does it matter who I'm hanging out with if now you're hanging out with _Potter _of all people?"

"For God's sake, Severus, whatever James Potter and the other boys get into is nowhere near what I hear some of your Housemates do."

"You don't know what you're saying, Lily," Severus said loudly, then reached in his bag for his ratty Potions book. "Let's not fight," he told her, remembering all the times how easily that worked.

"Save it," Lily interrupted, cold and brusque. " I think I'm finished my essay." She rolled up her clearly incomplete assignment and tossed her quill into her bag, standing up. Snape stared at her, looking angry and sullen.

"I worry about you, Severus." She said, tucking a strand of red hair behind her ear. "And I don't know how much longer I can defend you, considering how you act now. It's like I don't even know you anymore."

The next time they spoke, Lily defended Severus Snape for the last time.

His hand was warm around hers, calloused, comforting, and slowly becoming one of the few constants in her life as of now. Since the first time he took her hand during rounds and she kept it there, despite everything they'd been through, it became habit for the two of them to reach for each other's hands before stepping out of the Common Room and through the Portrait Hole.

It was nicer, Lily realized, so much nicer than she'd ever imagined to have James Potter's hand in hers, to feel the laughter course through his body to his hand then to her own as she joined in, to feel the warmth of his personality and being hold her safe. James Potter was a blessing.

Only, he wasn't laughing tonight and neither was she. His mood made the air heavy and the anxiety Lily felt pressed against her.

"I'm going to kill him," James seethed quietly as they passed the Great Hall.

"No," Lily retorted, "you're not. I need you here, not in Azkaban." Even in the dark, she could feel his scowl. If she weren't trying to hide her own concern so much, Lily would have smiled. Annoying and domineering as it may be, James' frustration was endearing.

"He threatened you, Lily, how else am I supposed to react?"

"With rationality, I'd hope."

"Avery doesn't deserve that," James huffed out.

"To be fair," Lily said as the turned the corner, nearing the flight of stairs that lead to the Dungeons, "He also threatened you. Called you a blood traitor, and me a Mudblood whore for being your undoing."

James stopped walking. "You didn't tell me that," he glared.

"You didn't give me a chance to before you were already muttering about murder," Lily rolled her eyes. His shoulders were still tense, so she moved closer and tucked her head beneath his chin. The affect was immediate; James wrapped his arms around her and sighed.

"Just tell me you did _something_," he muttered into her hair. Lily smiled.

"Course I did. I expect he's still in the Hospital Wing, complete with a Tongue-Tie Jinx if anyone asks how he got there."

And James was laughing again as he lifted her chin to give her a quick peck on the lips. "You're brilliant," he smiled, "you know that?"

She shrugged. "I could stand to be reminded more often," Lily replied, tugging his hand so they could continue to rounds. She tried not the let the proximity of the Slytherin Common Room bring down her spirits.

"Hmm," James hummed beside her, "so you need me here and _not_ in Azkaban." Lily didn't like the contemplative note in his tone. James continued, "But what if I could kill him and not be caught?" The look he gave Lily had no trace of humor. "I could," he said, "easily."

She eyed him suspiciously. "I don't doubt that," Lily managed to reply, "but no. Just no."

"Knew you'd be my downfall," he moaned, the pain in his voice exaggerated, "I'm going to grow old and fat and never have fun again because of you, Lily."

"Oh, I don't know," she replied, a smirk tugging at her lips, "I think we have plenty of fun, James."

His eyes gleamed in the faint light their wands provided. Still walking hand in hand, James managed to lower his lips to her ear. "Ah," he whispered, "I say we cut patrolling short and have some fun, hm?" She could feel the smirk radiating off his face as he whispered, "The Room of Requirement is always—"

"As much as the intermingling of Blood may be entertaining," interrupted a voice so familiar yet so strange, "I'd prefer not to hear about it."

Lily and James stood frozen, needing only a second to realize that they had reached the Slytherin territory of the dungeons faster than expected. The lightheartedness of the moments before disappeared, slipping through the darkness and away from Lily's grasp. The air was colder, heavier than it was moments before as James' wand located the source of the voice. Lily barely suppressed her gasp after seeing who could have been Sirius Black's twin stare coolly at the Head students, cigarette glowing softly.

"Regulus," James acknowledged with a cold nod. "Midnight stroll?"

He didn't answer, opting instead to keep his eyes focused on James, not the wand in his hand that was in offensive position. When Lily rose hers to match James', Regulus spoke, muttering a soft, "You shouldn't be here, Potter. Especially not with _her."_

"Watch it, Regulus," James snarled.

"I'll speak for myself, thank you," Lily said, her voice steady and calm. "We're on patrol," she pointed at James and back at herself, "and _you're_ not," her finger jabbed at Regulus. "So name one reason why we shouldn't write you a detention right now."

"You're out past curfew," James said, stepping slightly forward, the smallest indication of hostility.

"And making threats," Lily finished, eyes narrowed. "That Prefect badge doesn't protect you, Black."

"I don't need it to," he replied, his attitude so similar to his brother's towards authority he didn't recognize. From the dark past Regulus, two wand tips ignited, their light joining the other three sources. The faint magic glow fell oddly on the two new comer's faces, the shadows distorting their features enough to be intimidating. Lily, however, knew that hook nose anywhere.

James took a step positioning himself in front of Lily, blocking her from the three Slytherins. Rolling her eyes, Lily took a defiant step forward, setting her right shoulder in front of his torso. If wands were drawn (too late for that, she realized), there was no way she was spending the duel standing behind her boyfriend.

"All three of you," James spoke clearly as she felt his voice reverberate in his chest, "are to move immediately back to your common room."

Mulciber made a sound of derision. "Oh, but we were just talking about you, Potter," his gaze moved to Lily, who felt dirty as his eyes passed over her skin, "you and your girlfriend here."

Snape said nothing and stood in the shadow. Lily wondered if he could feel the intensity of her glare directed at him. Next to her, Lily felt James' arm stiffen, flexed. If they didn't move fast, one side was going to fire a spell, and no matter who fired first, the end result was not going to be good.

"I'd watch your mouth, Mulciber," James seethed.

"And I'd learn basic math, Potter. There's three of us and only two of you."

"While that may be true," Lily spoke now, the sound echoing off the stone, "You're against the two highest authority students in the school, who also happen to be two of the best wands in the school. So if I were you, I'd do as the Head Boy tells you to do. Back to your Common Rooms , _now._"

He could feel her glare even from his place in the shadow. Standing here, seeing her with _him_ of all people was the last thing Severus Snape wanted from his evening. He, Black, and Mulciber weren't doing anything nefarious that would have brought them to the dungeons; they were only sitting in the corridor discussing war theories when they could hear oncoming footsteps. Of course it had to be them. Of course. So he stayed as far back as possible, content behind the light. Would that it could be Potter alone, or Potter with Lupin, but Potter with her… He feared a duel.

Muliber, the complete oaf, had no interest in heeding her warning. "Now, hold on, Evans," he grunted, stepping forward. She blinked, he glared. Mulciber continued, "See, our good friend seems to have landed himself in the Hospital Wing earlier today. Nasty bit of business, he's purple in places you'd never thought possible." He was getting cocky, Snape could tell by the way he twirled his wand between his finger tips and by the way he leaned forward on his heels. Anxious, Snape eyed Regulus, who maintained the disinterested demeanor he seemed to have had since he was a child. Black's eyes flickered to her wand, then his, and then to Mulciber's, and Snape knew Black dreaded a duel as well. Three against two as it may be, she was right. They were equally matched, if not outmatched, in skill.

"You'd like to join him?" Potter prodded, raising his eyebrows. Snape found it hard to keep his wand at his side. _Attack Potter and risk hitting her. _"Because I'd love to help you out in that, believe me." And Lily made no effort to quench his immaturity, his clear show of a desperate need for power. She stood beside him, standing as tall as her tiny frame allowed her to, and she was beautiful. Why was she wasting herself, all her goodness and talent and being, with James Potter? It was he, Snape, who had been her friend, and it was James Potter who had wedged them apart, somehow ensnaring Lily's interest along the way. She couldn't see that he was an evil, something that would taint her forever. Associating with people like James Potter and becoming known as a Blood-whore guaranteed danger for her during this time.

She was a Blood-whore, after all, trying to be with a Pureblood despite her own background. Why couldn't she see that if she were with him, her past wouldn't matter? He would convince the others that they could make an exception for her. She'd be safe under his protection from the war if she only realized that was her best option.

Instead she stood next to him, and there was pride in her eyes. Defiant and gleaming, it burned Severus. He felt sick to his stomach and more than ready to leave this pathetic scene.

He could hear the words echo in his head_. Let's not fight._

By some lucky break, Regulus caught his eye for a signal. Snape gave a curt nudge of his head as Mulciber opened his mouth once more.

"I'll do the same to you both, I swear—"

"It's not worth it," Regulus interrupted , "and I'm tired. Let's go."

Mulciber stood still, turning to glare at his two companions who clearly refused to back him. He grunted in anger, defeated, before stomping off down the corridor towards the Common Room.

"The next time we find you out after hours," Potter declared, voice haughty and revolting, "We're alerting Dumbledore. Go."

And maybe it would have been horribly, horribly revolting to be forced to retreat from Potter if he hadn't been fantasying of the day when he donned the mask, embracing all the potential of the Dark Arts and the Unforgivable. James Potter wouldn't be so proud then.

Severus Snape was not happy, but that was overrated, anyway. Severus Snape was, however, vengeful, and determined.

They watched the group for a moment before he touched her shoulder gently, wary of her silence as the the Slytherins retreated. After a moment, she let go of a shuddering breath. She was shaking.

"Hey," James whispered, taking both her shoulders in his hands and bending his head down to hers, "you okay?"

"Yeah," Lily replied, holding his gaze, "I'm fine. It's just I hate running into him—_them_ unexpectedly like that, you know?"

James nodded. "I guess we should have been more vigilant," he confessed, giving a small smile.

"That's right," Lily replied, pulling his hand as she led them away from the dungeons, "my mother did always warn me that impure intentions would always lead to trouble."

"Trouble?" James scoffed. "I've never been any trouble in the whole of my eighteen years, I assure you."

"What a shame, then. I always did like a bit of adventure. I wonder, is Sirius still available? Because maybe—"

Lily didn't get to finish, perhaps do to the fact that James's mouth was encompassing hers, and he was more than a bit distracting. She tried (though not too hard) to pull away, giggling.

"Okay, okay!" She laughed, breathless. "I change my mind. You, James Potter, are nothing but trouble."

"No more than you," he mumbled in reply, occupying himself with her neck.

"More trouble than it's worth."

"Maybe," he said, "but no more than you."

She was happy. Really, truly, happy and whole. Lily Evans had never known this feeling, to be completely safe and content with one person whilst the rest of the world burned down around her. So even if James Potter was nothing but trouble, she didn't care, because James Potter made her happy. For an eighteen year old witch with anything but a bright future ahead of her, Lily Evans thought happy was a good enough thing to be.


End file.
